Backing up my pregnancy - 3rd trimester

The big back up of my pregnancy continues, with my 3rd trimester...

28 WEEKS ::: Hello 3rd trimester! 👋 

I had an awesome chiropractic appointment. While he's background was more sports medicine, he had some great ideas about working with my breath to work on my diastasis recti and alignment for symphysis pubis dysfunction and sacroiliac discomfort. Last pregnancy I was able to just walk down the hallway to meet with the chiropractic students at the clinic I worked at and it was so helpful, especially in those final weeks of pregnancy, so I wanted to be sure I was established with someone I could see as needed. 🌀
We are having the kitchen counters demo-ed to get ready for installing new granite. My husbands version of nesting is doing ALL the house projects to sell our house now, so we can get our house on the market and move before we have this baby. 🙈🤔😬😳 Just trusting it will all work out if it's meant to be. ✨
And I survived and had a great time camping with two other families and their awesome kids. It was over 100 degrees in Portland, so it was perfect to be next to an ice cold mountain river and surrounded by huge shady old growth forests. And I just love being out in the woods, which reminded me of one of the big reasons we're possibly looking for a house right now, to be out of the city and truly feel like our home is a little retreat. 🌲🏕☀️
Dated June 18th 2017

29 weeks: It's my last full week of work!!! 🙌🎉💗🙏🏼😃

While I'm quite sure wrangling my 2 boys while 8 and 9 months pregnant will be more challenging than my day job as a social worker, I'm really looking forward to the change of pace! 😂 
I'm starting my list of all the activities I'm looking forward to doing with my boys this summer. ☀️😎
We met, toured and interviewed with the midwives at a local birth center. Even with the insurance change, it will still cost us more to be at a birth center than to stay with our HMO. My husband asked me, "well, would you rather change to the birth center or go on a yoga retreat in Bali??" I'll admit, the question gave me pause, but ultimately I think it's the right choice to change providers, even this late in the game. Mantras like, "pregnancy is a state of health" and "I trust my body will grow the right size baby to birth" have become so important to preparing myself for birth, and I feel like staying will our current situation, will potentially undermine my own ability to trust birth. 
As I was drifting off to sleep that night after our visit to the birthing center, I was envisioning our birth in that space and it just seems right. Bali...I'll have to see you some other time 😜🏝☀️
Dated June 25th 2017

30 WEEKS ::: We had a our first appointment at the birth center and met with our team, including a midwife, a midwife assistant and a midwifery student who will be following me through the pregnancy, so there is better continuity of care. The vibe is so supportive and warm, and it is clear they are on board with helping me to feel trusting of my body and baby in birth and are not just constantly assessing risk (though they also seem very aware and conscious of safety). Even though it will definitely be a financial investment, I'm feeling certain it is the right choice, especially because this is my last pregnancy. 🌔🌕🌖

We (my hubs) decided to cool it on the house hunt for the moment. I'm grateful for the urgency it created to take care of some much needed household projects, and ultimately was trusting that if the timing was right it would have worked out, but feel pretty great we won't be adding a house move onto the list of transitions we'll all be going through this fall. 🌔🌕🌖
I've been Feeling all the feels about this being my last pregnancy and also nervous about how welcoming this new baby will shift the relative balance we have in our family right now. Knowing that when our 2nd arrived, it sent all of us into a little bit of a tailspin, I feel myself grasping to hold onto our current normalcy. Also, I love being pregnant, and I feel a sense of grief and sadness about this chapter of my life coming to an end. 🌔🌕🌖
Lastly, I had the craziest Charlie horse for the first time in pregnancy that literally woke me from my sleep and I started yelping!! So painful 😖 and a great opportunity to practice my breathing and trying to relax into the intensity of the moment. Ouch!
Dated July 2, 2017

Lunch time walks at high noon with cute baby bump. 

31 WEEKS ::: it was my first official week of working my new part time schedule, and as expected, even when change is desired, it still requires some time and patience to recalibrate. I still had childcare on my days off and had about 187 things on my to-do list and shockingly only about 3 of those things actually were accomplished. Learning to lower my expectations for what I can realistically accomplish at this stage. 😂

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Example of my over scheduling was signing my boys up for swim classes, including the 2.5 year old's class which requires parent participation. And at the same time I feel like I'm officially feeling the 3rd trimester slow down, except life is not slowing down in any way, shape or form. 🌀
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Taught my last Yoga Way to Birth class until after this baby arrives. Always grateful for these groups, the intention behind them and once again the opportunity to pause and reflect on this journey that is pregnancy, birth and beyond in a mindful way. 🙏🏼
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And I had my final appointment with my midwife at the HMO that I've been at throughout this pregnancy and my 2nd pregnancy (see my previous post). It was surprisingly emotionally to say good-bye. 

souvenirs from the Birth without Fear conference

Prepping to teach one last Yoga Way to Birth

32 WEEKS ::: Lots of people checking in and asking "how I am feeling?" Especially as I get more obviously toward the end of this pregnancy. The truth is I feel pretty great. I feel impressed with how my body has been handling pregnancy this time around. I feel strong and resilient. But also, with how life moves with a 5 and 2.5 year old, I may not really have a choice, there is no time to ruminate on the aches or discomfort. But I don't feel like I'm just surviving either, I'm really enjoying what I have at this moment. 🌀

This was my second full week of working part time and I am amazed at how much busier I feel working part time 😂 But I do have a knack for over extending myself, so I need to be weary of how my "free time" actually becomes quickly booked and try to actually have days at home. I also can tell I was anxious about making sure I had enough planned to keep the boys occupied, but judging by some of the melt downs and behaviors I've witnessed, all signs point to the need for all of us to ✨ S l o w D o w n ✨ it's just feels so needed for everyone as we prepare for all the changes ahead

33 WEEKS ::: finally feeling more in the swing of things with my new schedule and trying to take advantage of these beautiful summer Oregon days with my boys. While also crossing some things off the to do list to prepare for all the changes ahead...hard to believe it's nearly August already. 💚

Baby, or Geronimo Moon, as his brothers have nicknamed him is staying nice and busy in utero and I have a feeling he is still doing somersaults in there. Though it has never worried me before, suddenly because we have switched to a birth center, that will only do head down deliveries, I feel anxious about baby's position. Remembering that "worrying is like praying for what you don't want", and trying to send nothing but positive vibes for whatever position baby decides he needs to be in (and of course considering ALL THE THINGS I should be doing to help baby be in the best position too). 💚
Enjoying one last camping trip of the summer this weekend. We headed to southern Oregon to camp with friends along the Illinois river, the same place we camped 3 years ago when I was pregnant with number 2...feels like things are coming full circle. ⚪️

Trips to Sauvie Island beach

Playing with Henry and Leo on my days off

34 WEEKS ::: started the week off in the Siskiyou national forest along the Illinois river. I woke before everyone and spent some time just sitting quietly by the river as the sun announced her heated presence for the day. There have been moments I have actually forgotten that I'm pregnant because I have been so busy and preoccupied with family and work. But as I'm nearing the final weeks, I notice my fears resurfacing. Fear about the upcoming changes and shifts in the delicate balance of our family. Fear about having switched to a birth center (was that the right choice? What if I end up at the hospital anyways?). And the biggest fear under all of it, the often unspeakable, fear of death. ((Thank you @yoga_girl and @ameliakyoga for speaking about this on your podcast...I don't believe our fears can truly be resolved unless we look at them directly, and yet it remains so taboo to speak of death, especially in the context of birth))

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But with my fears also come sweet moments of gratitude. Feeling grateful for every little kick and movement from deep within; the ability to know this little soul without having laid eyes on him yet. Gratitude for my health. And grateful for those moments where I ultimately drop into trust and my intuition...knowing that trust is often the antidote to fear. -
Had another midwife appointment and scheduled the remaining appointments for the rest of pregnancy...the end is in sight. The biggest shift I have noticed since switching to a birthing center and out of hospital care is that I feel like the assumption from the midwives are that I am well, unless proven otherwise, whereas previously I felt like I was always trying to defend that I was feeling ok. It is refreshing to be with providers and birth workers that so deeply trust me and the birth process. -
Ending the week in central Oregon. We have 3 back to back weekends of travel and life feels very full. It is great to be out and about and my boys love being able to get out and be wilding in nature (and so do I), but taking advantage of every moment I can find to rest. 😴💤

35 WEEKS ::: it's been an incredible full week with maternity photos, work baby shower and blessing way with friends and family. Life is so abundant and I am so grateful to be able to share this journey and love with so many. We have one final weekend of travel and then we are home until baby arrives. ✨

I'm also feeling so ready to be at home more and really begin to nest and rest. And like figure out where all those baby clothes went? And do some deep cleaning and maybe also figure out where we're going to put this new family member. 🤔
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Physically my energy is waning. I have been having bouts of total exhaustion, dizziness and more intense Braxton hicks, all signally that it's time to slow down. Which is always easier said than done, especially with 2 very busy boys.

Prenatal photos with Shelby Brakken

Henna belly from Blue Lotus Henna, at my blessing way.

36 WEEKS ::: this week started the first of now weekly midwife appointments. They did an ultrasound to confirm baby is head down and "pretty low in my pelvis", hence the cervical punches and bladder massages I have been experiencing, something I never had too much of in my other two pregnancies. It is so amazing to have hour long appointments with 3 calm and assuring providers. I have been nothing but impressed by everyone's presence...they all bring a deep trust of Birth, it is so reassuring. ✨

We celebrated 8 years of marriage, my 3rd wedding anniversary that I have been pregnant for. ✨
We also celebrated my 2nd boy's 3rd birthday, a couple weeks early, so we could a) take advantage of the last weekend that the outdoor pools are open and b) clear the schedule for all the changes we are preparing for, like my oldest starting kindergarten, my 2nd moving into a preschool classroom and of course the upcoming arrival of baby número tres. ✨
Lastly, continuing to feel pretty well physically, just a little achy through my low back, which if I've made it this far without too much to complain about, I'm feeling pretty darn lucky. ✨

37 WEEKS ::: feeling ripe, plumb and juicy, like all the late summer fruit hanging from the vine, enjoying the waning heat, cooler and longer evenings, and just soaking up these moments before the unknown of birth arrives. The joy of this pregnancy, similar to my other September baby is how these stages match so closely with the seasonal changes. Feeling closely connected with Nature and her wisdom, especially with all the eclipse new moon energy of this week. 🌘🌑🌒

Also just feeling more vulnerable and irritable all at once. I have been finding it difficult to ask for help, and yet needing support more than ever. My naturopath and acupuncturist who does my Mayan abdominal massage noted that my pulse feels weak and more rapid than normal and recommended iron supplements and a blood building tea, which I think have been helping. 🌘🌑🌒
Physically my low back is achy, I'm feeling slowed down and while I may never feel prepared emotionally for birth and for what postpartum as a mama of 3 will look like, I can tell my body is readying herself for this upcoming change and transition. At the same time, I am also already nostalgic and feeling sad to see pregnancy end...I really am one of those crazy ladies who loves being pregnant. 🌘🌑🌒
There is also something so magical about the final weeks of pregnancy. No other time in life seems to command present moment attention like it. I have been certain to finish up my notes daily and keep my inbox cleaned up at work, making transition plans with patients for my upcoming leave, and while I can be a champion procrastinator, the sense of urgency in these final weeks in palpable. 🌘🌑🌒
Lastly, baby sounded great at my midwife appointment, but had moved from an LOA/LOT position to a ROP position. 🤦🏼‍♀️ So I have been revisiting spinning babies to help get Mr. Moon back in a more optimal presentation. Measuring right on target, considering in the last pregnancy I was always measuring a couple weeks ahead. So curious to see if this baby will be as big as his brothers at birth!
🌘🌑🌒

38 WEEKS ::: feeling all the transitions. 

My oldest had his last day of preschool and will start kindergarten next week. 
My 2nd, soon to be middle child, and no longer the baby, turned 3, and is about to start preschool. 
And of course feeling all the end of pregnancy feelings. 🌀
At my midwife appointment, by my request they checked my cervix and it was nearly 2cm and 80% effaced, but not feeling too attached to any meaning to these numbers. I've been having some of the other pre-early Labor signs, like Braxton hicks that are stronger and require a little more attention, but with no specific rhythm, dull backache, and changes in digestive and elimination patterns. Again, holding all this information lightly, knowing full well that birth and baby have their own plans. 🌀
That said, finally feeling like I'm reaching that stage physically where my body is ready to be done with pregnancy and take on the next phase. And balancing the need to rest and nest simultaneously. We finally made space for the Geronimo Moon's dresser so I can unpack baby clothes...we'll do the crib later, knowing he'll be in a co-sleeper in our room to begin. 🌀
Still having some 3 to 4am insomnia, but it hasn't been nearly as bad as before and I have been able to get back to sleep, which has been a big relief. My midwives recommended skullcap and California poppy for sleep, which I think has been helping. Also, taking floradix to help build iron levels, which has helped with feeling fatigue and dizziness I was feeling before. 🌀
Just doing my best to soak up what's left of that pregnancy glow ✨ hold all these big life transitions lightly, not knowing what these next few weeks have in store ✨ and enjoy what I have in front me. 🙏🏼
{for those curious or confused about the timeline of these photos... pictures are taken at the beginning of the week, thoughts and reflections are from the whole week that follows}

39 WEEKS ::: last official week of work (though I may return for a couple days next week, depending on how I feel). The bags for the birth center are nearly packed. My oldest started kindergarten, my 2nd started preschool. Phew! And we are all doing very well with multiple transitions and gosh it feels great to have some routine again. ✨

At my midwife appointment, her first question was, "how is your spirit?" 💗 What a perfect question for a woman nearing her due date. And truth is, my spirits are good. Wavering from energized to fatigue, but still able to rest well, and feeling very patient with my body and this baby (though ask me again in a week and it may feel different). Still feeling strong and mobile. Just normal aches. Baby is active, and was in a LOA position at my appointment, but I'm sure is still wiggling around a lot. ✨
I know these last few weeks can be a little bit of a mind game. Honestly, the hardest part is fielding other people's anxieties and not absorbing them. Continuing to work on returning to my body's wisdom and intuition and leaning into trust

SUP at 39 weeks pregnant on Labor Day Weekend at Yale Lake

40 WEEKS ::: happily celebrated my due date with teaching a full prenatal yoga class on Sunday, the perfect way to commemorate the day. Then I went to work on Monday and Wednesday, thinking it was good to just keep busy. But I think I know why it used to be called "estimated date of confinement", because I don't really want to see anyone, besides my family and close friends and really don't want to answer any more questions about whether baby is on his way. So I'm officially on maternity leave as of Wednesday, and hunkering down a bit. 🌘🌀

Feeling like a good cry was needed, I found voice for my worries and all the emotions rising to the surface during my midwife appointment on Wednesday afternoon and let the flood gates open. It was an essential release. And my tears were received by only sweet empathy and support. Also started discussing ways to help support labor, and through a cervical check, learned I was 3cm dilated, still 80% effaced and baby is at +2 station. We did a membrane sweep, and the midwife remarked "it was a good one". And between the emotional release and the membrane sweep, that seemed like enough to loosen everything enough for birth to arrive. So this is where my weekly updates end, 40 weeks and 4 days. More to come...
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My last picture pregnant...I went into labor early that following morning.

Jonah's Birth Story can be found here. 

✨ 3 days new ::: 3 days post birth 🌙

Also known as the "leaky/weepy" day, which has been 100% true for me. I would have been 41 weeks today. My milk came in last night. I took my first shower since birth and cried the whole time, for no specific reason, other than feeling totally overwhelmed by the preceding few days and all the raw beauty and power I had experienced. 🌙🌑✨
The first 2 days after birth were filled with such endorphins, I felt like I could do just about anything, but also recognized that taking it easy was important. Tried to go for a walk to our park on day 3, and while it was physically comfortable, I still felt so emotionally tender, like walking around with an open wound, we quickly decided to return home. 🌘🌑🌒
I am amazed at how strong my body feels at this point. Though I'm sore in some unexpected places, like my shoulders are still so tense, I think from bracing myself against the side of the tub during labor. And even though I feel physically well, if I have learned anything throughout this 3rd pregnancy and birth, it has been to listen to my intuition and T R U S T it, so I'm letting the waves of emotions rise and fall, staying close to home, asking for help when I need it, and saying "no thanks" when I need to as well. Also, feeling all the feelings about this last child and the sadness and joy of going through all these fleeting phases one last time. And oh my goodness, newborn snuggles are so delicious, just breathing it all in. 💗✨🌙
Dated: 9/17/17