Adventures in co-sleeping

From early on with Henry, we established that Henry rarely sleeps like this.

And more often likes to sleep like this.

We started with a co-sleeper, right next to our bed. This was perfect for starting out. Henry was just an arm's reach away and we weren't worried about accidentally smooshing him in the middle of the night. Jon quickly figured out on the second night that he did not really need to be involved with night time feedings when rolled over to check on me, to which I replied I was doing ok, and he rolled back over and said, "I'm going to sit this one out." That was the last time Jon woke up for a middle of the night feeding (to his credit, he took over the letting the dog out in the wee hours of the morning).

Henry out grew his co-sleeper when he was around 4 months old (problems of having a child in the 100% for growth). We dabbled with putting him in his crib downstairs. We invested in the video monitor. And for a short while we consistently had Henry sleeping his "first shift" in his crib. Quickly it became more convenient and less disruptive to my own sleep that I would nurse him in bed with us while watching whatever new TV series we were devouring at the moment. I'll admit it is mostly out of laziness that Henry found his way into sleeping in our bed all night long. And in the middle of the night it seems so much more simple to roll over and nurse him then to trek downstairs. Sometimes the path of least resistance is all you can manage.

Henry's sleeping has also been the biggest point of contention between me and Jon. I am inclined to try a "cry it out" (CIO) method, where as Jon has a very hard time listening to Henry cry and worries that Henry will have negative associations with his crib and bedtime. [insert self judgement of feeling like a horribly insensitive mother here] We have tried putting him down in his pack 'n play in our room and he wakes up every time we try to lay him down. 

Every time I look for resources about sleeping or read a mother's question about her child's sleeping problems on the Portland Moms facebook group (both a blessing for resources and a source of anxiety about my parenting skills), I end up feeling horribly judgmental about the patterns of co-sleeping we have established and nervous that we have set ourselves up for eventual failure with ever having Henry successful sleep on his own. Can you tell this is loaded conversation for me?

For now we continue to sleep like the above photo. And I take a deep breath and embrace the mantra that I have heard from many other mamas, "it works until it doesn't." And right now it works. And when it doesn't we'll consider alternatives.