Today was the day for inappropriate comments. I know this phenomenon is not unfamiliar to most of you, but for some reason people think its ok to make life judging comments just because I have a pregnant belly. And as my cute baby bump has evolved into a globular conversation starter, the comments have shifted from sweet congratulations to capriciously personal and border-lining on down right inappropriate.
After my OB appointment this morning, as I was waiting for the elevator alongside a friendly elderly couple--a woman in a wheel chair and presumably her husband pushing her. The woman took one look at me, and said, "Gosh! It looks like you swallowed a watermelon!" Naturally, I laughed uncomfortably and replied, "Yep, I'm getting big", as if I hadn't noticed the size of my belly.
Moral: Pregnant women realize their size, commenting on it does not help the situation. I called Jon nearly in tears, and fortunately he was kind enough to take the time to sooth my slightly wounded ego.
Later this afternoon I was taking our puppy Isla for a walk. We were approached by a typical young Portland couple and their overly-friendly golden retriever (who Isla was deathly afraid of). As the woman pet Isla, she surveyed my current state, and commented, "Wow, you're going to have your hands full", while gesturing to my pregnant belly. "Yep, our puppy is training us well", I attempted to wittily reply. Side bar: this is actually the 2nd time I have received this exact same comment while on a walk with Isla.
Moral: Please refrain from sharing your judgments about our lifestyle choices. People have successful brought children into this world under much more difficult circumstances than juggling a teething puppy while caring for a newborn. And as my social worker friends would say, "you never know the upward limits of someone's potential", so keep your self-limiting comments to yourself.
And since all good and bad things come in threes, I'll conclude with one final example from my day. Once a month I go to teach yoga as a volunteer at juvenile detention, and the staff have been excited to follow the progress of my pregnancy over the past couple months. Tonight when I arrived, the staff greeted me and immediately commented, "Geez, you've like doubled in size since last month". Insert another self deprecating comment about how much I've grown along with my normal uncomfortable/nervous laugh that I use whenever I'm slightly put off and not sure how to reply.
Moral: Let me reiterate the lesson from the first example, pregnant women are well aware of their size and you drawing more attention is not in any way useful.
Ok, I will get off my soap box for the night. Fortunately, my OB says I'm measuring on target, not too big, not too small, and I take solace in her words. For those who are wondering, golly, how big is Margot these days, anyways? Here is my latest bump picture.
And yes, I will still have my scoop of ice cream tonight for dessert.
After my OB appointment this morning, as I was waiting for the elevator alongside a friendly elderly couple--a woman in a wheel chair and presumably her husband pushing her. The woman took one look at me, and said, "Gosh! It looks like you swallowed a watermelon!" Naturally, I laughed uncomfortably and replied, "Yep, I'm getting big", as if I hadn't noticed the size of my belly.
Moral: Pregnant women realize their size, commenting on it does not help the situation. I called Jon nearly in tears, and fortunately he was kind enough to take the time to sooth my slightly wounded ego.
Later this afternoon I was taking our puppy Isla for a walk. We were approached by a typical young Portland couple and their overly-friendly golden retriever (who Isla was deathly afraid of). As the woman pet Isla, she surveyed my current state, and commented, "Wow, you're going to have your hands full", while gesturing to my pregnant belly. "Yep, our puppy is training us well", I attempted to wittily reply. Side bar: this is actually the 2nd time I have received this exact same comment while on a walk with Isla.
Moral: Please refrain from sharing your judgments about our lifestyle choices. People have successful brought children into this world under much more difficult circumstances than juggling a teething puppy while caring for a newborn. And as my social worker friends would say, "you never know the upward limits of someone's potential", so keep your self-limiting comments to yourself.
And since all good and bad things come in threes, I'll conclude with one final example from my day. Once a month I go to teach yoga as a volunteer at juvenile detention, and the staff have been excited to follow the progress of my pregnancy over the past couple months. Tonight when I arrived, the staff greeted me and immediately commented, "Geez, you've like doubled in size since last month". Insert another self deprecating comment about how much I've grown along with my normal uncomfortable/nervous laugh that I use whenever I'm slightly put off and not sure how to reply.
Moral: Let me reiterate the lesson from the first example, pregnant women are well aware of their size and you drawing more attention is not in any way useful.
Ok, I will get off my soap box for the night. Fortunately, my OB says I'm measuring on target, not too big, not too small, and I take solace in her words. For those who are wondering, golly, how big is Margot these days, anyways? Here is my latest bump picture.
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| 31 weeks, as of Tuesday, t-minus 62 days until our due date |
First, you look BEAUTIFUL! Such a perfect belly! Second, I completely hear you. During my pregnancy I had a guy that I work with ask me how much weight I had gained...wildly inappropriate. Third, I am so happy for you and Jon!!! You are going to be amazing parents.
ReplyDeleteMargot, I think you look amazing. Not only that, but I think you and Jon ARE amazing. People are insensitive and self-consumed. They don't think about how their words affect other people. The next time they tell you that you look big poke their eyeballs out. Then they won't have to look at you. I'm so excited for you two.
ReplyDeleteI guess people just think saying you look big, is almost like saying your baby is chunky--as a sign of health, not a judgment. You can take it any way you want--your swelling body is an indicator of a healthy normal pregnancy, it has its unique beauty in itself. You are obviously strong healthy and fit! Stay secure in your healthy pregnant image--your slim dancer's body will return after lil Strauhull baby comes. You look beautiful and I am so thankful for your sweet, kind,and peaceful self!
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